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6/13/2005 I'm still alive. Working full time sucks ass. I'm seriously considering looking into how much money it would cost to get health insurance for just myself and cut my hours back to part time. I wouldn't make as much money, but it might be worth it. It wouldn't be so bad except... I don't know, I need to enjoy my job to be able to put that much time into it. Either I need to find a job where I can make my own hours or a job that I like so much that I don't mind being there from 8 to 5. Otherwise, it just drives me insane. It feels so confining. I know if I made myself do it, I'd just be unhappy. I really just want someone to tell me that that's okay. But everyone I talk to seems to be of the opinion that this is just how the real world is, get over it. Whatever. I went through a few rough patches in the last week or two where I was really depressed. I need to start writing those feelings down when I get them. Later, when I'm actually at my therapist, I never remember how it really felt, so it doesn't do me any good. I had a pretty good weekend, though. I so cannot remember what I did yesterday. Um. I think... I stayed home all day (not sleeping, though, that's an improvement). And today I went and took some engagement pictures for Robin and John at ASF, most of which turned out good. Had dinner, then went and hung out with some friends. It was good to get out of the house. I'm up way later than I should be, but I slept till 1 today. Maybe I won't be too tired tomorrow. Sigh. posted 1:10 PM / post
If you make yourself do it then you are right you will be unhappy. I did just that and was miserable. Just do whatever you need to do to be happy and the rest will work itself out. The real world can be like that, but it doesn't have to be if you don't want it to. And also if you need someone to talk to you can call me anytime. Or just call someone, cause you have lots of friends that care about you and will help you when you need it.
I know you and I are very different, but I believe you can find a job that you enjoy as much as I enjoy my job. It does help if you know kinda what you want to do ;) You know I love you and you can call me anytime (so long as I haven't used all my peak mins) I still have to make myself get up some mornings, it is all part of adjusting to this new chapter in our lives. Grandchildren would get very bored with "well, I went to college and slept till noon" stories. Life is ultimatly about change. |